Cautious Keir seeks to cement his legacy as he plods towards the exit | John Crace

PM is seeking a few quick wins to guarantee he is remembered for at least a short while after he resigns

W hatever you do, don’t mention the L-word. The official line from Downing Street is that Keir Starmer will remain prime minister for the next 10 years. Possibly longer. In the course of which he will be beatified by the pope, pick up the Nobel peace prizes that Donald “I wuz robbed” Trump should have won, will find a cure for cancer and lead the country into a new age of prosperity. The greatest UK leader of any age. Someone who makes Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher look second rate. A man who can even get Tony Blair to stop talking about himself.

Only that’s not quite the way it looks to the rest of us. What we see is a man who senses his time is running out. He’d hate you to notice, but Keir is after a few quick wins to cement his legacy. To guarantee he is remembered for at least a short while after he resigns.

He doesn’t want to be that guy in the Remembrance Day lineup of prime ministers past and present that no one remembers. The irony would be crushing. Nor does he want to be like Rishi Sunak. Memorable only for failing to carry an umbrella for his resignation speech in Downing Street. Cue one drowned rat and an expensive suit totally ruined.

Even Liz Truss has a legacy. It may not be one she particularly wants. Bankrupting the country and only lasting 49 days in office – you can actually make that 39, as 10 of those were a period of state mourning for the queen during which she was prevented from doing any further damage – was probably never on Radon Liz’s wishlist. But at least she will never be forgotten. Long after Truss has died she will remain the bad joke in endless pub quizzes. Never in the whole field of public office has so much harm been done to so many by so few.

Starmer’s legacy has been rather more problematic. Because he hasn’t really done that much. His main crime has been mediocrity. Not actively bad, like some prime ministers, but still a bit disappointing. When he promised change before the last election, many dared to believe him. His most notable achievement has been to U-turn on many of his policies despite having been elected with a majority of 170. He now claims getting rid of the two-child benefit cap as his finest hour. Conveniently forgetting he initially wanted to keep it and suspended the whip of Labour MPs who voted to remove it.

But time is not on Keir’s side. The polls suggest that Andy Burnham is on course to win the Makerfield byelection in just over 10 days’ time and the “king of the north” isn’t about to give up being mayor of Greater Manchester just to serve as a loyal backbencher for Project Starmer. So Keir may only have a few months to grab a few headlines. To make sure he is remembered in perpetuity.

Here you reckon that Starmer could make a start by taking a leaf out of the Trump playbook. Think big. The Donald is planning to put his mugshot on a new $250 bill: Keir should double that. Put his face on a new £500 note. The ideal hedge against inflation. And with a brand new slogan. Making a “Monkey” out of a “Starmer”.