Survey confirms the struggle of working parents: 'No way to be two things at once'

Amber and Neil Petersen serve lunch to two of their children, 11-year-old Eden and 4-year-old Jack, while visiting Amber's parents in Iowa City, Iowa. Cliff Jette for NPR hide caption

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Amber Petersen's struggles are likely familiar to any working parent.

Some days at work, she finds herself diverted to family matters. A school nurse calls to tell her that one of her children is sick. She needs to leave work immediately.

Other days, she wishes she could be chaperoning a field trip instead of scheduling meetings and putting together files at the small law firm in Mason City, Iowa, where she works as a legal assistant.

"I feel like that tug of war is constantly on my mind of where I need to be — if I am missing out as a mom, or if I am disappointing somebody at work," she says. "There's just no way to be two things at once and give 100% at both."

A new survey from the Pew Research Center finds that struggle widespread, with two-thirds of working mothers reporting that they can't give 100% at home and just over half saying they can't give their all at work. A smaller but sizable share of fathers agree, with half reporting they can't give 100% at home, and about a third saying they can't give their all at work. The survey focused primarily on families with both a mother and a father who work full time.

Petersen works as a legal assistant at a small firm in Mason City, Iowa. She can leave work on a dime if one of her children falls sick, but she has no paid sick leave so she won't get paid. Cliff Jette for NPR hide caption